Tuesday, May 15, 2012

It's Been A While...

Why do girls hate each other?
Hey, this is a serious question.  Why do girls hate each other?  It doesn’t make sense.  I’ve thought long and hard about this and I can’t come up with a logical answer.  Here are a few thoughts based on experience:
Ignorance: Just simply not knowing about another female.  Girls do it all the time.  We all do it... we snap judge based on false pretenses.  We all think we know where another girl is coming from just simply based on seeing her.  Wrong.  Looks are 100% deceiving.  And those that say “What you see is what you get” are lying.  Or retarded.  Perhaps both.  Because if that was a genuine true statement, I’d be a confident, hilarious, independent Native American lady.  Although all those things are true, that’s not all I am.  I’m honest, yet scared.  I’ve tasted the blood of another’s sword.  (That’s a metaphor, folks.)  I get lonely sometimes and allow myself to be vulnerable.  But above all else, I’m a survivor.  We all have our stories, I’m sure if you knew my REAL story, your perception of me may change... actually, I guarantee it.  But that’s for another post... in a far far away land.  ANYWAY... we all have our stories.  We all have our secrets and our experiences that have molded us to be who we are.  Making assumptions about someone’s motivations based on a loose understanding of who they are with no foundation of knowledge of their intent is absolutely stupid.  Grow up.  
Jealousy: Perhaps the biggest reason why a female would hate on another female.  Jealousy itself is not an emotion.  Jealousy is driven by other emotions and can creep up for a variety of reasons, but the biggest reason is fear.  Afraid of what a girl could do that may jeopardize a particular set of circumstances for another.  Examples include fear that she will come after your man (sounds like you need to have a little more trust in YOUR man, ladies... and if the girl comes after your boy, punch her out, don’t get jealous. What a waste.)  Or, perhaps you’re an attention whore who fears she’ll lose having everyone else’s attention.   Sounds pretty greedy to me.  
All of you outspoken women need to stand up. Quit being bitches.  Seriously.  Just because you’re a beautiful, smart, independent woman does NOT mean you’re superior to other ladies or should feel threatened by those with similar qualities to you.  Get together. Join forces.  Stop the hate.  It’s ridiculous.  It’s for this exact reason that we haven’t had a woman president.... well, maybe not the only reason, but goddamnit, it has something to do with it, I just know it.   
I’ve said my piece.  Now on to more exciting matters... 
Interested facts or thoughts I’ve had recently! (Oh shush, you’re reading this because you’re curious or you love/hate me... so, why would you expect anything else?)
I can’t stand women that judge what others are wearing.  ...Who friggin cares what you’re wearing? Just be yourself.  Some of us can’t help if we’re fabulous.  What? I’m serious.  
I’ve lived in 6 towns/cities in 7 years.
Carnies smell like patchouli and bratwurst.
Denzel Washington is the perfect man.
I’m a Mac fan.  Microsoft.... booooooo.
I didn’t like high school.  Mostly because a guy I went to school with made it a living hell for me.  He has since apologized.
At the same time, I was Prom Princess.  So, apparently I well liked, except by him.  Asshole.  
No one can ever figure out my nationality.  I’m racially ambiguous.  I’ve been asked if I was Brazilian, Mexican, Colombian, Mulatto, Eastern Indian, Greek, and Italian.  Others just think I’m tan.
I’m a proud member of the Passamaquoddy Tribe of Motahkmikuk at Peter Dana Point.  
I have a zero racism policy.  
Although I’m Native American, my navigation skills are lacking.  I had to use my GPS to get to work in Belfast, ME for an entire month.  I work one mile away.  Yeah, it’s THAT bad.
I’m 100% aware that my above two statements contradict one another.  
I used to be straight edge.  Up until 2011, I could count the amount of drinks I had on one hand.  I was still fun though ;)
I suck at bowling.  But one time, I scored a 189.  
I’ve been told I’m a classy redneck.  I love to wear high heels and slinky black dresses, but I also love to four wheel with my family and get a little dirty.
I don’t own a TV and haven’t in years.
It’s almost impossible for me to watch a movie in one sitting.  It takes a lot to hold my attention.  
A skirt with a sweatshirt?  Really?  That doesn’t make logical sense.
This post has been a month in the making, which is why its so alllllll over the place.  Anyway, May 11th marked exactly one year since I moved back to Maine.  It was also the same day I moved away in 2009 and it marked the day my sister and her husband moved back to Maine.  It’s been a big year.... a beautiful year.  I’m 25 now.  Scary, I know.  But I really feel like I’m starting to make sense of myself.  I’m learning where my priorities lie.  I used to chase dollars and find any way to one-up others, no matter what it cost.  I wouldn’t go back to that life if you paid me (no pun intended).  Through it all, I have learned who my true friends are.  When I was in my darkest moments, you came through.... opened your hearts to me.  You laughed and cried with me.  You redirected your life for me.  You know who you are.  Those horrible yet wonderful nights hugging and crying in the streets, making pierogies at 2 am, cats riding off into the sunset, high heels in the snow, swapping shoes, highligher shirts, bocci balls, pumpkin park, jammin to the early 90s, so many photos, makin it wink, twerk, babies everywhere, PAY PAY, Drake, dance partners, sleepovers, mt everest, diva walks, and most importantly... those long walks and long talks.  
I’ve made mistakes.  HUGE mistakes... but somehow, through it all I managed to find some of the most remarkable people that ever exploded onto this planet.  When I changed my life...when I changed my lifestyle, those from my previous life questioned my decisions.  They asked if the kind of people I chose to associate myself with were the right kind of people to surround myself with during my transition phase from the “J” life to the single life.  Well... it’s 100% safe for me to say I didn’t choose these people, they chose me.  And I am the luckiest girl on earth because of it.  From my fabulous roomies to my gorgeous bestie, Asian best boy friend and amazing, handsome boyfriend whom I adore.  I love you all... and I don’t say that lightly.  Thanks for not giving up on me <3